09 May 2012

on dogs and dragons: same but different

Six years is quite a long time between sprogs. Longer than average I imagine. But I always swore that, if there was ever to be a second (by no means a foregone conclusion, we have no truck with supposed only-child stigma) I would never willingly wrestle a double buggy, and that ideally the first would be old enough to help out with the second. So far, so good. The only problem I'm encountering is that, during the years between dog and dragon, I have forgotten more than I ever knew about this whole lark.

I'd forgotten how much it was possible to eat. I'm out. of. control. On the plus side though, holy cow, look at those great fingernails! Why the hell aren't they breaking off at the cuticle like normal? But uh-oh, I forgot about the supersenses. There's one piece of citrus on the turn in this supermarket and nobody is harassing the spotty yoof stacking mandarins: Yo! Buddy! Yes, it's me, the spherical one commando-crawling across the floor with a bag-for-life tied round my nose; there's a mouldy one in there, TRUST ME, I can smell it from the carpark.

And oversensitive much? Wince. Imagine if you will: one crabbit old bus driver glides past our stop in the stotting rain and tries to make out it's my fault for about ten seconds before noticing the bump and the shivering five-year-old ballerina by my side. His admission of guilt and grudging apology is too half-hearted and too late, and the rest of my day becomes consumed with prolonged hurt overreaction. This one-minute-long minor squabble with a stranger morphs into a dismal puddle of "everybody in the whole world thinks I'm just a fat, brainless idiot".

Truly, these hormones, they send you loopy. Handle your gestating friends with kid gloves I beg you.

But some things are different this time around. I no longer have a full-time, overpaid job that I have to pretend to be engaged with. And I don't feel any desire to buy into any of the bossy, stress-inducing pregnancy manuals this time. Everything is generally a bit more relaxed, a bit less terrifying, and a bit more... normal.

As The Boss would say, "That's a phew, right?"

And this time I know how to knit stuff for the dragon baby, a significant advantage over last time. Because you can't eat and knit at the same time.

And that is a serious phew.

The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd, and the remnant-busting baby sweater

23 comments:

  1. hey... quite bitchin'... you can eat what you like and your nails are fabulous... life is good! ;0)

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    1. You're the only one who could get away with that Dom! You're right, life is good :-)

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  2. Loved the secret life of bees immensely! I think I need to do a stash busting something. Love the sweater and good luck with the hormones!

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  3. LOL knitting as a means of preventing fridge raiding - I like it!

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  4. I took up knitting so I wouldn't eat late at night! No, not really, but it does help.
    Loved your post and thanks for the laugh. Hope your hormones will start behaving.

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  5. LOVE the yarn you have on the needles. Best of luck with the development of the project and the baby!

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  6. Hey, congratulations! Sensible you, waiting so long and not ending up with three under three (like me). And I say forgetting is best with half of it ;) Good luck getting to the nice bit xx and love that yarn xx

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  7. Raging hormones!!! (made me giggle! I'm at the stage of NO hormones.....and I still RAGE!!)

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  8. So how much longer for all these raging hormones? :) Congratulations! Wonderful wonderful wonderful. I love reading your posts - you're funny, and I learn so many new vocabulary words. Truly. The blue of that yarn is really very stunning. Dragon will look wonderful in it.

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  9. Congratulations! Second time is definatley less stressful :) Love your remnants too, will be a lovely little sweater :)

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  10. You have such a way with words- love your humor...I can invision it all hehe....and your little shivering ballerina :(

    You will most definitly have a well dressed dragon!

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  11. Knitting getting in the way of eating.....now there's something wrong somewhere, mind maybe that's where I am going wrong, I could be a whole lot slimmer and have a lot less ufos...

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  12. OOh! Another bee book to add to my list. Any consolation, with my second and third babies it felt like I'd forgotten everything about pregnancy and babies. Congratulations!

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  13. congrats! " I no longer have a full-time, overpaid job that I have to pretend to be engaged with. And I don't feel any desire to buy into any of the bossy, stress-inducing pregnancy manuals this time. Everything is generally a bit more relaxed, a bit less terrifying, and a bit more... normal." hah! really enjoyed that.

    also, love the way you write in this one, you've made it all sound really poetic.

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  14. Congratulations! Take a deep breath...it's going to be a roller coaster ride...but what fun! Love the grey and blue stripes on the dragon baby's sweater.

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  15. Brilliant post and a gorgeous sweater!
    xx

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  16. you are so funny! and congratulations! i'm so happy for you! i too have dog and dragon children and think they're a great match. i was also very excited to have a dragon baby because i am one myself. i am going to send you a pattern you mentioned liking on my blog a while back. it's the pom pom papoose and i still use it for indy. it's a great knit - and now that you're in scotland, well, you'll surely get use out of it.

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  17. i need your email though.

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  18. Awwww, how did I miss this! Congratulations!!
    Same with the eating, but my fingernails missed out on the news. Not fair.
    Hope you're well. Congratulations!!!!

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  19. Woo hoo! Congrats on baby # 2! There are five years between my kiddos, and, I have to say, I think it makes life a lot easier. Your six-year-old will be old enough to understand any feelings of jealousy she may have and will be better able to communicate with you about said feelings. Also, it seems there's a lot more love than jealousy from the oldest. I can't tell you how happy I am for you and your family.

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  20. Awww a dog and a dragon!
    Btw I have just finished The Help and you are so right - it totally knocks the bees one outta the park. Have I confused that metaphor? It doesn't seem quite right.
    Boo to Aberdeen bus drivers. I know one lovely one but most of them seem to be right grumpy gits. I don't even know what they have to be so grumpy about. Traffic in Aberdeen hardly reaches the nightmare problems of elsewhere and, although you do get some right gits of passengers sometimes, I would have thought that would make you appreciate the nice ones all the more.

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