project 52: foolin' around

A weekend morning at my Grandparents' house in the mid-eighties. My brother and I were woken with a stage-whisper from Granny, and ordered to come downstairs and play a prank on Grampa. With great flourish on her part, and lots of poorly muffled sniggering on ours, a huge leek was produced. I was told to choose a radiator to hide it behind, while my brother was instructed to go upstairs to our "sleeping" Grampa and tell him, with as much panic as could be feigned, that one of the radiators had a leak.

In an award-winning display of mock-anguish, Grampa (in our eyes, the spitting image of Lance Corporal Jack Jones from Dad's Army, and equally prone to shout "Don't PANIC!" to make us laugh) rushed downstairs and checked all the heaters, becoming more and more flustered until, at last, the offending vegetable was located. Cue helplessly hysterical children, weak with puerile giggles; I think it might have been just about the funniest thing we'd ever done. I'm pretty sure he maintained the charade for the rest of the day, gruffly telling all the neighbours about his wicked grandchildren on our walk for the messages, and having "a word" about our naughtiness when Mum and Dad arrived to collect us.

And because of that morning, I can not do April Fools Day. I've never been able to get past the only April Fools prank that I know. April 1st = leeks on radiators. That part of my brain is closed to any alternatives. With just a few years hindsight, and with each re-telling of the tale, it became startlingly clear that it was a pretty weak gag.

But I might arrange a similar morning ritual for The Boss next year because, seriously, at the time? Hilarious.